Breaking the Blanket Habit

Helping Toddlers Give Up Their Blankies

by April E. Clark

Since 1952, Peanuts comic strip character Linus Van Pelt has found comfort in his baby blue "security" blanket. If that image of lovable Linus is likeable to your child, there's no reason to worry that this common habit is a bad one.

"Studies have shown that children who are attached to security blankets are securely attached to their mothers and psychologically healthy," says Dr. Julie Lumeng, of the University of Michigan's Center for Human Growth and Development in Ann Arbor, Mich. "The same studies show that when these children are in stressful or new situations – for example a new playgroup, preschool, going to the doctor's office, a babysitter – that if they have a security blanket they are much better able to keep themselves calm than children who do not have such an object. These children are actually better able to socialize, to learn and to regulate their emotions when they have a security blanket."

Becky Povinelli, a mother of three daughters from Indianapolis, Ind., recalls her youngest daughter's connection to her "blankie," which was a handmade gift from a family friend when Jenny was born. "It was in Jenny's crib when she was a newborn and then she literally carried it with her everywhere as a toddler," she says. "It really provided a sense of security for her."

According to Dr. Lumeng, studies of children's attachments to blankets have shown that their habit is most intense between 18 and 24 months of age, declining from there. However, at 36 months, more than half of children are still attached to their blankets. "There is no specific age at which a child should no longer be attached," says Dr. Lumeng. "Children can retain their affection for a cherished attachment object like a blanket well into adolescence. In fact, how many adults still keep a childhood attachment object in a trunk in the attic for the sentimental value?"

Lynn Smith, a mother of three from Houston, Texas, says her oldest daughter's security blanket was a cherished object that she still remembers more than a decade later. "I bought my daughter's blanket at a craft show before she was born," she says. "It was a handmade blanket with a lace border in a colorful wrapped-candy print. She slept with it as a baby and carried it everywhere with her in the toddler years. She had one special corner that she would wrap around her hand, then suck part of the blanket along with her thumb. She could even find this corner in the dark. She told us it smelled different. Her blanket had to go everywhere with her, or she would not sleep. As soon as she could grab for things, we knew that this would be her special blanket. We just recently found this blanket while cleaning out our closets. She is now 13, but still remembers it."

Dr. Lumeng reports that the biggest question on the minds of most parents who are concerned about their child's blanket attachment is: When would you expect a child to stop using the object regularly and in public settings? She says this answer often varies, depending on the emotional development of the child.

"There is no hard and fast rule about this, but generally speaking, at the outside limits, you would expect a child who is still bringing their blanket to the kindergarten classroom to be able to reduce their reliance on it within those first few months," she says. "For children who are shy or inhibited or easily overwhelmed, a security blanket is a wonderful tool. If the goal of early childhood is to help children develop the ability to regulate their emotions (to stop from falling apart into a tantrum when a parent drops them off at childcare or a child pushes them) and having a security blanket assists them in doing so, it is a wonderful tool."

Dr. Lumeng also notes that recent studies support the benefits of a child being attached to a blanket. "Children primarily use these attachment objects or 'transitional objects' like blankets as they are falling asleep, and it helps them to do so," she says. "If a 10-year-old still has a special blanket in bed with him/her that is part of their bedtime ritual or routine and it helps them fall asleep, there is no reason (psychological or otherwise) that a parent should feel the need to take it away. This should be the child's choice. Second, studies have shown that children's use of security blankets varies based on their temperament. Temperament is thought to be an inborn character trait – a way of responding to certain situations. In other words, does the child 'jump in' to a new situation, or is the child 'slow to warm up,' or is the child persistently very shy? All of these behaviors are in the normal range, and all have good and bad things about them."

Many parents also worry about the sociological or psychological disadvantages in their child using a blanket past a certain age. According to Dr. Lumeng, time is usually on the child's side in that respect.

"Generally, children who still are using a security blanket regularly and outside the home when entering preschool or kindergarten will start to feel some social pressure to stop using it sometime during these years," she says. "So many children will reduce their use of the security blanket in preschool simply by modeling other children in the classroom they admire."

As her daughter neared kindergarten age, Smith was pleasantly surprised to find how simple it was to wean her from the security blanket. "We started talking with her about two weeks before her 4th birthday," she says. "We explained to her that on her birthday, she needed to give it to us to put away for her. We talked about this a lot, and she agreed. I honestly didn't think she would be able to do it, but on her birthday morning, she brought us the blanket and said goodbye. We put it up and that was the end of it. I'm sure a lot of parents wish it was that easy for them – I think we just got lucky! I do think that talking to her about it like she was a big girl and associating giving it up with something positive (her birthday), it made it easier."

Obviously Linus and his blanket attachment is an entirely different story.

http://www.babiestoday.com/articles/toddlers/a-hard-habit-to-break-1974/#